im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
