so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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