I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And then he peed in my hair
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