You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
