sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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