Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize