so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
