I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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