were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
