K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
