i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
false alarm. still invincible.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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