she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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