if i can run in heels then i can drive
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
