didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
