I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
