You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
