i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
