Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
