I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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