Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
