But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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