We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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