I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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