just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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