Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
