I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
