i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
