apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
