U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize