are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
