I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
please come you make the beer taste better
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
