mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have post one night stand depression
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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