Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
