So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize