i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize