well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My feet surprised me
Randomize
