This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
