So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize