Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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