my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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