she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
