did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
