he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize