thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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