My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
