the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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