im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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