I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
