trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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