Are we in a gay sports bar?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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