I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
