dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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