Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
