I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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