so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
