You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
