You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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