Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
