My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We had to coat check the pizza.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
