90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
