What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
