and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
