it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
