thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
