Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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