Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
