# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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