he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
