i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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