Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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