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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
