they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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