Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
